Killing Me Softly
by Shunkai
Summary: [One Shot, Character Death, Shounen-Ai] Take a look at Riku's life, He's depressed, Delusional And almost suicidal...Why? Because the one thing that gave him light has dissapeared. Will he give in to the darkness? Probuably.


Chaz: This little fic is pretty old you can tell by my style of writing here I think it's the second fic I've done and it took so long to correct grammar and spelling mistakes but its all good now. Lol I hope you like it coz I sure don't. Maha please do my disclaimer.

Maha: Chaz does not own kingdom hearts but will one day. You just watch then she would probably bump the rating of the game up to NC-17 for rape and violence and most likely scenes of Riku and Sora in interesting positions... Anyway...Don't sue unless you expect a couple of buttons a cookie and some crumpled up paper from the inside of her pocket.

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-Laughs- This means that the character is doing something like laughing or smirking or something it also stands for flashbacks.

/Stupid/ - This is the characters thoughts.

"Hello" - This is when the character is speaking.

Persons Pov - This is the characters story and it will switch povs sometimes to when someone else is telling the story.

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Killing me softly...

By Shukaku

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Riku's Pov

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Just a little bit darker than the night,

That's what I am I never could get older,

Coz I'm 17 going on 200,

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders,

And there are so few who understand.

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It's been 3 months since I lost the most precious thing in my life, 3 months after my pride and joy was killed and 3 months since the dearest thing to me that could only bring me pure happiness died. And who was the bastard who killed him...

Ansem, and of all the malicious things he have ever done that must have been the worse. I watched him there die right in front of my own eyes and for what? Just to be left to die alone and to let my mind rot away in my own carelessness.

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Could you help me?

Maybe to be a stronger man?

We're never meant to run alone,

But solo's my middle name.

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I've been through a lot of things I've been raped, tortured, teased, beaten and I've even had my own body taken away from me. I finally realized my true feelings for him and he's taken away from me...

He was my only hold, to the light. The only reason I wasn't swallowed by darkness is because his belief in me was too strong, the bond we shared was too thick and our feelings for each other were too powerful.

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I'm a nameless camel in a frozen desert,

Carrying more than a bump on my shoulders,

I'm called 'Angel', but then angels don't suffer,

So how could I impersonate them?

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You know, they say that if you choose the wrong path you could always turn back. I'm too far down this path to ever turn back now fate has got a hold on my life, destined to make it a living hell. It's a funny thing love, you see the darkness feeds off the light and the light is intrigued by the darkness, well you know what they say, opposites attract. In many cases that's true and have the proof...

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I carry on without a flinching blink because I must,

But someday, there's gonna be a straw to break the camel's back,

He called me immortal, so immortal I shall be,

But doomed to die a thousand times.

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-Flashback-

"I can't believe it Riku! I've found you! I've looked so hard and finally you're here oh man Riku I've missed you so much"

"Sora you really don't know how happy I am to see you again!! Whoa you're finally here!!! Hehe you moron..."

"Eh? What's that s'posed to mean?"

"Nothing Sora, never mind"

"Um... Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks"

"Eh? For what?"

"For being there..."

-End Flashback-

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That was the day he kissed me, don't get me wrong I loved it be he completely took me by surprise. I guess I didn't really expect him to have feelings for me. I mean after all the fuss with Kairi and kingdom hearts I didn't think he would return my feelings; after all we were always showing off in front of Kairi.

And as much as I hate to admit it I did have feelings for her back them but they are NOTHING compared to my love for Sora. Never again will I love someone as much as I loved him, this is crazy! Why am I even doing this?

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Suffering for a lack of fate,

And starving for some love,

Why can't you be the one to carry on?

We're never meant to run alone,

But solo's my middle name.

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I can remember his face as he was dieing, a single tear rolled down his cheek yet he apologized for being so weak. Why? WHO WOULD KILL SOMEONE SO INNOCENT? SO PURE? ANSEM, THAT'S WHO, ANSEM THE COLD HEARTED BASTARD. I despise him, in all my hatred and all my anger I direct it all to him. How dare he manipulate me, use me and then kill my koibito.

Revenge is sweet but im not a callous bastard like Ansem I refuse to kill people no matter how much they deserve to be dead. But I did, I killed him and it felt so damn good too. A slow painful death just like he did to Sora but worse a hell of a lot worse I slit him. Slit his wrists, slit his throat, and all along his body were deep, deep gashes. And you know what I did; I sprinkled salt all over those gashes to hear him scream out in pain.

So much pain and so much misery I still smirk at that as evil as it seems but it was his own fault. He knew it was coming, and he brought this down upon himself.

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I'm a nameless camel in a frozen desert,

Carrying more than a bump on my shoulders,

I'm called 'Angel', but then angels don't suffer

So how could I impersonate them?

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-Flashback-

"Say It. I SAID SAY IT BITCH!"

"AHHHHH NOOO I...refuse...to...LISTEN...TO...you UNGHH"

"Ansem im sure you know that you're about to die a painful death am I right?"

"FUCK YOU RIKU"

"Hn. Huge humongous waste of my time. If you're so good then where's your 'powers of darkness' why aren't the heartless listening to you?"

"LET GO OF ME YOU INSOLENT FUCKING KID"

"Hmmm, that's right. They ditched you just like they did to maleficent didn't they. You let the darkness overrule your heart and went spiraling out of control...Im right aren't I!"

"-Grumbles- Sh-AAAH"

"Heh, you took one step and completely fell over the edge. I KNEW IT! But why Sora? Why kill him?"

"The keyblade master was a nuisance to my plans. Always out to stop me to 'save the day'"

"That's still not a good enough reason. In fact... nothing is so now its time to die. Good bye Ansem. Good ridden"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH FU......."

"-Smirk- What's that Ansem? Cant quite hear you hehehehe"

-End Flashback-

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That still didn't cover up my sorrow and hatred it still didn't stop the daily torture my head goes through when I think of him. But I must make a change I know in my heart that Sora does not want me like this and I know for a fact he wants me to be strong.

He said so himself. But I can't help but feel helpless from the once trio we used to be ended up as a duo and now a solo. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends; they all did off in the end. Selphie, Tidus, Wakka, Kairi and Sora all dead. No friends no parents and no one to turn to.

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I carry on without a flinching blink because I must,

But someday, there's gonna be a straw to break the camel's back,

I'm dying inside, but I'm grinning to death,

And you'd never see the pain in my smile.

-Flashback-

"So we meet again Ansem"

"Yes, Sora... –grins evilly-"

"I thought I killed you off"

"Oh really young Sora, A pathetic attempt that was as well. You should have known the darkness has no boundaries and no matter what you do it wont stop and as for light, its weak don't bother"

"You take that back!"

"So you have come this far and yet you still understand nothing! When will you learn boy!? DARKNESS CONQUERS ALL WORLDS!"

"You're wrong. You always have been Ansem. Always" Riku spat at Ansem.

"Oh please Riku, you took the side of this pathetic brat. I though you were better than that and as for him he's about to face death"

"Wha? AAAAHHHH!" Sora screamed.

That's it. That's when Ansem's sword penetrated the 16 year old boy's stomach. Leaving him to die a slow painful death. He just lay there on the floor tears brimming at his eyes the urge to cry burning at the back of his mind while the blood slowly spilled onto the dirt path trickling slowly downwards to the side of Riku's shoe clad feet.

"Ri-ku" Sora spoke softly, his voice was raspy and he trembled as he reached out for his koi's hand to grasp it tenderly. "Yeah Sora?" By now Riku was sobbing. He couldn't hold his tears in for the mere fact that his young boyfriend was dieing and that he could do nothing about it. For no potion or curaga would work on the deep wound that Ansem had left...

"Ri-ku promise you won't cry. Promise me you won't give up on life. And promise me you'll be strong. For me? I want you to live a normal life without me I want you to carry on for you know ill see you someday and besides im always in your heart. We're linked by the power of the paopu and also our bond; just don't do anything crazy please?" "But, but Sora I don't-"

"No Riku! I want you to listen to me! Forget about me! No more pain! No more suffering...please?" Riku fell to his knees and cried into his lover's shirt. There was no way he could survive this surely. "Ok Sora I promise. I- I'll try m-my best okay?" He then placed a tender kiss on his kois forehead. "Good, and Riku I just want you to know I love you" "I love you too" Riku managed to choke out.

"Riku, sing something to me." "Ok umm im not very good but my mom always used to sing this to me before she died. You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when sky's are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, so don't you take my sunshine away. You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when I am down, you'll never know dear how much I love you, and I don't like your face when you frown..."

For quite a while they sat there and comforted each other in a gentle embrace lost in each others eyes and placing feather light kisses on each other they lasted like that until Riku felt Sora's body go limp but Sora refused to go without whispering another goodbye to his lover. Sora's heart slowly stopped beating as his eyes glazed over. Riku looked up and kept cradling his body refusing to let go when a local villager stopped to help.

Riku spent days after that crying, his red eyes and puffy cheeks were sore from his tears. He didn't attend the funeral. HE couldn't it was far too much for him but Yuffie, Leon, Aerith, Donald and Goofy tried their best to cheer him up it worked a bit but the sadness from his loss was still boring into him. Sucking him in like a black hole into the void where only darkness, anger and sadness exist.

-End Flashback-

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I carry on without a flinching blink because I must,

But someday, there's gonna be a straw to break the camel's back,

I'm dying inside, but I'm grinning to death,

And you'd never see the pain in my smile.

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I don't like to walk alone but im destined to. The pain I've been through is too much to bear. Being without you is killing me softly Sora I can't stand to be alone like this. Im stuck here in this void of emptiness that has pulled me in all because of Ansem and because of your death. You may not know this but I hate you Sora, I hate you for dieing on me like that.

But I love you and I know you were strong but it was too early for you to go. Way too early and that's why it's my time, I can't suck it up and take it like a man but I can finish what I came here for. Kill me now or is it a sin to be with your loved ones? For if I have to stay here any longer ill be of the non-existent ones coz this is killing me softly.

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My torture is well hidden,

And my anguish never shows,

I guess that's what I get, because,

We're never meant to run alone...

Never meant to run alone.....

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Killing me ever so softly...

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Chaz: Well there it is...I hope you liked it constructive criticism is welcome but don't go too overboard flames aren't nice you know! Please review and tell me what you thought about it maybe ill write a sequel to it maybe not but...Ah well.

Maha: Ja Ne! Oh and see the little button below? Click it! And review for us!


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